Fifth Grade.

23 Feb

I suppose I should offer some sort of explanation for this accidental post. The challenge was to create a board showing your most awkward style. Mine was the disaster that is fifth grade. This particular outfit was one of my favorites. Bear in mind, at this point in my life I was about 4’10 and maybe 50 pounds. Small is an understatement. So while all the other girls were wearing bras and size 2 jeans, I was shopping in the little girls section trying in vain to make a size 10 slim stay on my bony frame. Everything was too big, making me look like, alternately, a hobo, or a starving welfare child, of which I was neither. This outfit is now immortalized at my parent’s house on an unfortunate homemade Christmas tree ornament. It is affectionately referred to as my “preacher outfit”, no doubt due to the drab khaki pants offset by the over sized khaki striped button down shirt I wore as God intended, buttoned all the way to my pencil thin throat. This was then “accessorized” with a multitude of long beaded necklaces I had somehow come into ownership of that year. My footwear of choice was either black velvet platform sneakers or heavy brown leather imitation Doc Martens. Sensible for the playground, obviously. No, I didn’t go out to recess if I could manage it. Between the round coke bottle glasses and height challenges, I was an easy target for anyone with insecurities of their own, and hid in the library or my teacher’s classroom as much as possible. Fifth grade certainly was a challenge. And thankfully, I grew a foot over the next five years.

fifth grade


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