A total kick in the ass.

27 Jan

I had a really intense conversation with myself yesterday. I said to myself, listen, you are 22 years old. You are graduating in a year. Get your shit together. Everyone has a dream or a goal. You know what yours is. I know it’s scary as hell to pick yourself up and actually do it. You are the queen of excuses. Just figure it out. If you don’t, you will regret it your entire life. 

I have never actually been terrified of losing or failing at something the way I am terrified of regretting 22 years of life making choices. It’s  so hard to admit what I want. It’s not unique or earth shattering. It’s even hard for me to write here, anonymously on the internet. I am even scared of strangers judging me. I am not ready to write it down yet. I can think it in my head all day long and day dream about it, but actually making it a reality makes me break out in hives.

 

I am scared to fail.

I am scared to succeed.

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